Thirsting

The flame it burns,

Inside me

Reeks on , everything that i hide

Gasping for breath

It wallows, inside

the hallows of my mind

The flame it burns,

in wait,

it shall seize,

doused and forgotten

whats hidden

shall stay hidden

you said hello,

and i took this world for a given

Homecoming

It was homecoming.She was overjoyed.Overwhelmed to be home,gonna miss those days in Sikkim.But that is nothing compared to this.Home has been missed a lot, so have been friends.So has it been the other way round.Must feel great to be missed.Truly.She thanked god for that.For a family.For friends.It was an unusually cold day at Guwahati.The flight would be taking off at 4 am.Unusually early.But she felt warm.She felt at home already.

There is not much you can do when you are have been waiting for a homecoming for 5 years.An unusually long time.But she waited.And the wait was over.Well, almost.But the last 6 hours lasted more than all the 60 months she had spent waiting.It was a sweet homecoming indeed.

   - Waiting for my homecoming.

  - Me.

Dreams of an Insomniac

the breath stops,so does the screaming

so does every bit, of my senses , dreaming

was never so real

cringing in my slumber , 

i scream to be free, for the pain that i feel

could never be pain, for the real.

I fight to tear , into my insecurity

i fight to lie , to my naivete

i pull myself out of chasms

mighty cruel and insensitive sarcasms,

i get up, run as far away as my legs take me

take me to her i scream 

i shake myself up 

and i am there.

Jackasstic interpretations

The following is an excerpt of a conversation i had with one of my friends over chat.Of course , here the me is her and 

sreekanth.narayanaswamy@gmail.com is me :)  

sreekanth.narayanaswamy@gmail.com: dude

  wid music too m hopeless

  m good at listening

 me: wat about the second round

  interview

 sreekanth.narayanaswamy@gmail.com: i ll stick to tat

 me: ?

 sreekanth.narayanaswamy@gmail.com: yea

  interview over

  it was yesterday

10:57 AM me: how was it

 sreekanth.narayanaswamy@gmail.com: i was in pune fr 4 days

  i v decided not to join

  :D

  it was cool

  asked me about sampling and all tat

 me: why?

  wat happened

 sreekanth.narayanaswamy@gmail.com: well .. .

  its a 3 year course on paper

  5 year course in reality

 me: oho

  so

 sreekanth.narayanaswamy@gmail.com: all fulltoo film only

  nothing to do with music

  or live sound

  projects all film

10:58 AM on set recording

  ie sync sound

  and dubbing

  and effects

 me: oho

 sreekanth.narayanaswamy@gmail.com: so ,

  pretty much

  not my cuppa tea.

  dotn wanna do it fr 5 years re.

 me: yea thats true

10:59 AM and that too something thats close to what you want but not exactly waht you want

  but see you are not that lazy...you made so much effort for this

  :D

 sreekanth.narayanaswamy@gmail.com: lol

  well yeah,

  but

11:00 AM it was lil too easy if u ask me

  :P

11:01 AM me: hmmmm thanks that is some encoragement, so if my prof kicks me out of lab , and I have nowhere to go, please help me in this easy task so that I can spend 5 more years of my life doing nothing

  :D

U C , this is the point where all your thoughts centre into a space where you form conclusions on baseless assumptions.I assumed that she was being sarcastic and hence , her 5 years in PHD turned into my 5 years at FTII and her earnest want for help turned into a very sarcastic " ah if u think thats easy , get your fat ass down here and finish my job too...EINSTEIN"

K the rest is what followed...Ideally any sarcastic comment coming from an Indian girl, almost irrevocably has to a movie dialogue. :P

 sreekanth.narayanaswamy@gmail.com: wow

  thats a movie dialogue

 me: what??

 sreekanth.narayanaswamy@gmail.com: i mean

  what u just typed

  sarcasm + analogy and all

Eh , yeah ,the analogy is the comparison between her 5 years in PHD  and my 5 years in FTII.Wow.This is Chris Nolan stuff.But the reality is......

  

 

11:02 AM me: saracasm??...analogy???....wow

  amazing interpretation

  :D

 sreekanth.narayanaswamy@gmail.com: well if u do need help

  do ask

  i can always deny

11:03 AM me: now i know where not to look for help

 

Actually...now that i have read it again, i know that it was a harmless joke.I guess like there are people who are sarcasm deaf,Sarcasm is starting to give rise to people who are non-sarcasm deaf. * oooh..i see sarcasm everywhere *** god save me **** 

Photography, a few #Wants

1.Super portraits of a super cute girl :D . Ok.Not really.But , i havent had a chance to shoot any real portraits.Firstly, its because , i am kind of insecure with a camera while shooting people.I am not good at non candid shots. :| . I would love to have a go at portraits sometime.Especially some real cute ones :D.And may be with some real flashes,and some real nice window lighting and may be with some nice gothic effects.

2.Ultra wide angle portraits : I dont have a wide angle lens yet.But that would be so fucking awesome !

3.Selective lighting : All those pics where only some part of the subject is lit.Looks freaking cool.

4.Panoramas : I wanna travel !!!!

5.Sea : Enough said.Havent seen a sea shore since i got myself a camera :-/

6.Friends Portraits : No one has agreed to pose.They all think that it is gay.No opinions.Before i took up this, even i would have had the same opinion.

7.Self Portrait : Needs a lot of patience...I love some of these guys doing it the way they are..

Dynamic rating

Yeah , right.Its an algorithm class...

This kind of algorithm can be applied to only very complex data types , known as chicks...

So here we go.

Chick wears salwar kameez = + 1/2

Chick wears high heel chappal = 0

Chick with salwar kameez has make up on = -3

Chick wears jeans - +1

Chick wears T-Shirt  - +1

Chick wears a T-Shirt and Jeans with 32 waist size - -5

Chick wears a smile  - + 3

Chick wears a smile everytime she needs to get her work done -  -25

Chick is fun to talk to - + 10

Chick is fun to talk to , but doesnt talk to you - -30

If you answers are true , add the scores to the final score

If its a negative , you are in an unfair world

Otherwise , you are in heaven !!!

Perspective

There are times when someones right is someones wrong and someones pain in the butt is someones eh.well.k.m being a pervert now.Lets get back to the point....

Yah, there are times when you think that you are alright bitching about the first pretty girl who doesnt talk to you.Coz shes a b@#%h , rite ? Aha, we have all done it. :)

Inspired from a real life story -


A Scene from Karthik calling Karthik (totally made up :)

Karthik to his friend

Karthik : Dey ,that new girl deepika is so darn uptight dude.She aint giving anyone any looks and plus shes just talking to this random guy from cubicle 123. I mean wats the deal .. ? We are all nice guys too.. ! Have i got something stuck in my teeth ?

Friend (i ll call him Tedy ) : Bro ,yeah i know.I guess she is a little quiet.

K : Yeah ,whatever , its not like i care or something , but i think that she's a complete beauty queen type.She thinks that she is Katrina Kaif material.

T : Eh .. I think Katrina is ugly.

K : Ah, great, not a great analogy for you to chew on then.K fine , she is like ehmm... Oh you are Mallu arent you ..ehehehee..i know who you like.. *_*

T : Dey , please, we are Mallus alright , but it doesnt mean that we have such an obtuse sense of beauty ...

K : Eh, did u say obese ?

T:Obtuse you jackass ,obtuse!!..

K : Oh , ok..Dude , k watever.She thinks that She's a beauty queen

T : Nah , i dont think so .. May be i should talk to her , after all i was with her in college and all that.She sure dint seem that way then.

K : Eh , yeah , you kinda are approachable.I mean , most women think that you are gay..

T : Wut ? !%!!!%

The same evening , printer room :)

Teds and Deeps

Tedy : Dude , why the hell are you so quiet in office ?

Deepika : Eh , i m just minding my own business.I dont like the people in office coz the moment i open my mouth in office , they brand me a slut.

Tedy : Eh, oh .Not much of an option then , is there..

Deepika : Ya , tell me about it.If they find me takling to you now , we are gonna be romeo and juliet material tomorrow.

Tedy : Nah , they all think that i am gay.

Deepika : Oh they know as well ?

Tedy : (!@#%@#%@#)

The late movie review of - SALT

I had dismissed this movie as just another CIA agent struggling with privacy (Mrs Smith in her bachelorhood , if you will ) movie.But then, it proved out to be pretty different from usual...

The story line is good.It keeps you occupied.Everything unravles in a sequence that matches the early vague description of the entire plot.In fact , the intro to the movie is in itself a very engaging or rather a puzzling one ( if not in retrospect).The way every character changes in the end of the movie is also good.The only down side to the movie is its weak climax.All you can see is agent SALT getting off the chopper and running away.Angeline jolie looks a little too weak to be running on forever.The climax is in fact a big let down after such great twists towards the end of the movie.Every hero turning villian and every villian (Jolie) turning hero , is pretty easily narrated.Such finesse in narration definitely deserved a better climax.

Angelina looks a little less sexy in this movie.Of course, the movie had no such connotations to it , so one can say that she remained true to it.But well,Jolie is Jolie,she deserves to show off some oomph , doesnt she ? I think she ismore lethal that way.But well, it dint happen.One can put that up as one of SALT's shortcomings.Im not being a pervet here.its just that , movies such as Tomb Raider , have captured her feminine attractiveness in a not so non sensual way,even if you ignore the bare back scenes.I guess more attention could have been paid to the costumes or something.

Overall , Salt flatters to deceive , but only after you have had enough fun watching almost 3/4ths of the movie.You expect a clincher , but it never happens.Call it an early culmination if u will :P . 

Ego

Ego is something that never leaves any of us.I guess in most part , it is what makes us what we are.And all of us , including myself ,would only not care to re-read the last sentence , but would not also care to realize that "what makes all of us " might have a connotation that goes like "all of us big time , hypocritical,complicated,obnoxious narcissist bastards !" .

We are most often not even a little surprised by our own hypocrisies..Egoes hide our intellect , and most usually it takes one big choke slam on it,to get us back,going back to business.Of course, naming it "choke slam ", would be downright silly.So we decided to name it ,self realization ,selflessness and what not.

Of course, i am not saying that this is some kind of incredible sin or something.Its just , well...Human.We are all humans , arent we.We err, we fuck up.And most importantly we make amends.

Ego does make us what we really are.Most of it though is defined by its absence.But well, how good is chocolate without the bitter cocoa.

PS : this post was triggered by thoughts about a certain friend.Enough said.

Tiny Dancer

Btw , the song is called , Tiny dancer. forgot to mention tat .

Blue Jean Baby

The song has been stuck in my head for the past 24 hours.Cant just get it out.I m not sure why i like this song :P.

Loads of good images popping up , with every line he sings , and the piano in this song is just fuckin awesome !!! 

So much finesse and such a beautiful voice.

Elton \m/

Now that he has given up his professional career , i m not really hopeful about more songs like this coming up in the future.Pity that it had to be lady gaga who shared the shit out of him.Of all the people. (not that Gaga is bad or something.But Sir Elton is an entirely different league.).

Link to this song is available. :D  use at ur own risk :)  - http://www.aimini.net/view/?fid=YBG3DPiPaH7aL1zDVJRq

Walk On

would you pass

by me,

and never see me again,

or,

would you see me,

and then pass , and never look back again,

would you look,

condascend,flash a smile,

that would last a second or,

would you look,smile,

and we walk by,

walk on,

forever.

Rant-em-rants

patterns , 

roll across

my eyes

i see them,

smirk,

tell myself.

another day

another place

another face,

same heart

same soul

waiting , 

for another.

Love Paranoia

Its late, its dark

Wheres the light,grope around just for a spark

Looking hard,looking around,

wound i am ,oathbound 

Looking for u , looking around,

blind i am , love bound