Friday, November 25, 2011

this PETA thing.

There was a time in my childhood when i was an animal rights lover.Then i grew up. I still think that animals have their rights.Yes they do.But in this course of growing up , i also realized that humans have their rights too.So when i see a PETA ad/ commercial that says "would you eat your dog for thanksgiving ?  then why the turkey?" I only have one thing to ask them.."Did you guys evolve from martians ?" .I mean, come on guys ! We are freaking omnivores ! We were born that way , and sadly this is how nature works ! You cant stop someone from eating meat by using cheap emotional blackmail.I am not saying that PETA is not doing anything good.Its just that they have started acting like the NEWS TV channels that start putting up soft porn kind of news when they have nothing to talk about ( rakhi sawant smooch scandal for example).

Its about time that PETA started looking a lil bit into the deep multi-species shit that they are in ( uumm smelly uh) , and realize that they are treading a very fine line between being stupid and being completely credible.There is going to be sometime in the future where they are going to turn into a nonsense group if it keeps going like this. And it would be rather interesting to see how this is going to look like.May be something like this .

- PETA comes up with a new resolution that its not just enough that they have turned almost every meat/beef loving mallu and every karuvadu loving tamilian into a vegan (yeah..vegan.not vegetarian) ,and its equally important , in places like india, where plants are molested to their Nth degree; that they come up with some kind of legal protection for plants as well.
- To follow up this truly "vegetable" idea,
a. No vegetarian shall ever touch , boil , cut leaves or plants
b.He shall eat vegetables , but shall ensure that once he consumes them , he shall either make sure that the seeds go where they are supposed to , and not the trash / the visceral post-processing units and plumbing.
c.If seeds are not eaten , they shall be treated like newborn babies , and shall be either buried near a well lit , fertile area (soil ie) , and not under any circumstance will allow it to be cooked ( jackfruit seed curry) or baked (like cashews) or be brewed ( like coffee ( or beer? )).
d.He shall eat fruits as well , provided he makes sure that for every fruit he eats, he places the subsequent resulting residue (seeds) in areas similar to those in clause b.
e.Drinking honey is not under any act.As long as you are keeping the honey bees happy. (This could be hard to determine , deterministically .
f.No rice , no wheat , no flour.No cereals.
g.America will now declare Pizza a vegetable in all districts, not just schools , to stop kids from skipping classes to plant their seeds.
h.To avoid confusion about how to make pizzas out of non-grain materials , please wait for "Organic Pizza Manual volume I".I can assure you that this should not take more than 1 year.Most scientists have quit their jobs to cure cancer, and have started working on this , since this is a matter of utmost , national and international stature.
i.Hummingbirds and honeybees shall be our new mascots, since they not only suck honey out of flowers without harming them,but also aid in cross pollination. (Federal law states that humans shall not try cross pollination with other species.But we really dont care about humans.We only care about animals.)

ANNEX : In the long term, we do realize that there might be a problem with people dying and all that with symptoms similar to famine.We do understand that this could be a problem for you humans.But then, in the long run, we are planning to turn monkeys into "socially aware" creatures as well.This means that they might actually stop eating "bananas" and start eating some of the other things that they dont like eating.This case, we all get to have bananas...Go bananas !

PS : This is a frustrated human being.
PPS : This is a frustrated vegetarian.

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